BSD

In which McPolack learns she is lacking in the "meeting facilitation" skill set:

12:50 pm: McPolack arrives in conference room to set up for meeting. Places phone in center of table. Take seat at head of table.

1:00 pm. Nobody has shown up. At other folks meetings, people are early. Not at McPolack's.

1:04 pm: Participant number one shows up. Has curly hair so we'll call him curlytop. He's got a fucking sandwich with him which he proceeds to eat.

1:07 pm: Nobody else has shown up. McPolack calls the guy in the West Coast office. He's got a foreign accent. Verrrrrrrrrrry full of himself. Thinks he's hot and always right. He's neither, natch. He looks like Mr. Bean so that's what we'll call him.

1:07:20 pm: Mr. Bean asks McPolack to call him back on his land line.

1:07:25: McPolack calls Mr. Bean on his land line.

1:07:26: As phone is ringing for Mr. Bean, BB walks in. BB has tendency to make snorfling and grumbly sounds during meetings. Also has ginormous ego. Smells of beef and cheese.

1:07: 35: BB pulls a banana out of his pocket and makes an inappropriate joke directed at McPolack involving having a banana in one's pocket versus being happy to see someone. Then proceeds to eat banana. curlytop is still eating his sandwich.

1:08: McPolack passes around her list of goals for the meeting and tries to get started. BB has already finished his banana and has started to pontificate.

1:08-1:12: BB pontificates .

1:12:01: McPolack tries to break in. Mr. Bean overrides me and he starts to pontificate. She walks to board and tries to follow along and take notes.

1:15: Mr. Bean still pontificating. curlytop breaks in and starts pontificating himself. McPolack (straight blonde hair, normal-sized ego, smells of flowers) is getting nowhere.

1:18: McPolack finally get a word in edgewise when BB's cell phone starts ringing -- loudly. He makes a snorfle sound and answers it.

1:22 pm: Enter in player number four, FNG. He started yesterday. In McPolack's first meeting with him he managed to let her know that if only he'd been here six months ago he could have solved all of the group's problems. McPolack can see he is eager to pontificate himself.

1:28 pm: FNG is pulled from the room to go somewhere that is apparently more important than McPolack's meeting

1:30 pm: BB is pulled from the room.

1:30-1:35: McPolack get a few words in edgewise in the space between curlytop and Mr. Bean's pontification

1:35-2:00: BB returns. All, save McPolack, pontificate. She tries desperately to follow along as they blather on and further on and then on some more. She has a ridiculous deadline to meet and needs to get information from them. She tries a few more times, feebly, to direct the meeting. She fails miserably. Pontificating continues until time is up. McPolack gets perhaps 1/18th of the information she was hoping for.

Conclusion:
McPolack could use some learnin' around running a meeting. McPolack could also use a BSD: Big Swinging Dick. Then she could wave it around just like the boys and maybe get a little attention and respect.