Canteloupe

So some man just totally followed me all the way through Russo's where I went to buy their good, cheap produce as I am entertaining on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday night this week.

I was having one of my dingbat nights. First off, I am really worried there is something wrong with my car. It is making a noise like the sound you make when you whistle through your teeth, or the "ssssssssss" in "ssssssssssssufferin' ssssssssssuccotash." Also I think first gear dropped out a couple of times, g-damnit.

And second sometimes McPolackthedork just takes over. My hair was in a messy ponytail and I was wearing an extra-crazy looking black fleece hat, had turquoise ring on my right index finger, and a cup of coffee in my left hand. When I first grabbed my shopping cart in the parking lot I headed for the out doors. Then when I made it to the in doors, which swing, I couldn't figure out how to maneuver my cart through them using only one hand.

So this gentleman pushed open the door for me. Then I could have sworn that, near the onions, he put some stuff in a bag and then into the cart of this older Asian couple, who thanked him -- but he wasn't Asian. I banged my way through the store, buying this and that (they had amazing Minneolas for a buck fifty a pound) spilling coffee on my sleeve and every so often I would notice him, with his basket, hovering nearby.

Then when I went to check out, as I was finishing, I noticed he was behind me in line. Which, honestly, creeped me out a little bit. Because really, I didn't know anything about the guy. He was, in a word, nondescript. Brown shoes, blue jeans, jacket of undetermined color, five-o'-clock shadow. He could have been foreign. The foreign men really like my juicy ass. But it was hidden behind my jacket tonight, so who knows. I did hightail it to my car and got out of there and then I almost got run over by a bus on my way home.