I'm not in control here

So Aunt Flo is paying her monthly visit with all her usual pals: Second cousin Sleepy Dwarf who makes me want to go to bed at 9:30 and then not get up until nearly 8, and Uncle Porkchop who causes me to want to eat everything in sight.

Well now it seems there's a fourth relation, closer to me than the other three. This morning I was walking to the escalator to go down into the train station when a tall, broad-shouldered man with dark hair walked in front of me. He had a beard. And I found myself following him through the train station. It wasn't me that was following him, though, not really.

It was my uterus. We'll call her, oh, I don't know, Sigourney. Sigourney is on the hunt for the father of my children and apparently she's stepped it up, big time. It was all I could do to yank her away and make her wait calmly for the train while I dug out my crossword puzzle. She quieted down some but she kept perking up any time a man walked by -- there were a lot more babes than usual on the train today.