Turkey Day Highlights

* Second Cousin M's filthy-talking stuffed parrot on a swing, which he mentioned to me early in the evening. "You have to listen when there are no kids around!" True to form, he did not forget, and after dessert found me, shooed the four-year old out of the room, and switched the button from filthy to extra-filthy. (The parrot has two settings.) I will give you the edited version here: "Polly wants a &^%^&% cracker." Polly wanted other inappropriate things that I will not mention.

* First cousin M commenting that McMumsy and PolackPappy were getting a "little frisky" on the sofa. Mm's hand was on Pp's thigh. For New Englanders, and especially our family, this is equivalent to full-on making out.

* PolackPappy's new Christmas carol. It's a work in progress; he's hoping to have it complete for Christmas Eve. It's called "Dingle Balls" and is sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells." Here is a sample: "Dashing through the snow/With my butt hair full of &#it/Shaking side to side/Trying to get rid of it."