Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Poor, poor Dr. Moo.

She has fallen victim to an unfortunate side effect of being an independent McPolack female: Sometimes, people think you're a lesbian.

I was misjudged by my own mother. I had called her one evening, baked on some fine VT weed and also drunk on wine and sad. I was hanging out with the Joanie/Amy/Marika triumverate in their wee apartment on School Street. We were close. But not that close. Anyhoo, I told McMumsy that I wished I liked women because they were so much easier to get along with.

The next time I came home to visit my mother sat me down with a copy of some book about homosexuality and Christianity and basically let me know she was totally okay with the fact that I was gay. Which was cool. Except, of course, for the fact that I'm straight. It took awhile for me to convince her of this. I finally had to rhapsodize about my love for the penis. This was a tad uncomfortable. I'm really glad she didn't bring my father in on the conversation.

Dr. Moo was misjudged by the lovely couple from NYC who own the garage she lives above. Them and their lesbian gardner. Apparently there's going to be a nice young lady coming to visit the property on Friday, they told Dr. Moo, and she is "pretty cute."

"I was wondering why they told me that," said Dr. Moo. "Then I realized and I didn't know what to say."

Luckily Dr. Moo will be out of town when the cute girl arrives, but she's going to have to let them know she likes the penis sometime.