Coming from a small town means you get special treatment...

...like having an accountant who works for you for free! And who calls you and asks you what your expenses were last year so he can get you more money back. I paid like 30 grand in taxes last year, which is disgusting, considering that at the moment said accountant is hoping to get me around 500 dollars back. The year before I probably made well under 20 grand. Such has been my life.

But the best thing by far about my accountant is this: I know that, when he was a teenager, he locked himself in his bedroom and refused to come out. His dad, who is also an accountant, and has known my dad since they were kids, didn't know what to do. But Polackpappy did! He revved up his chainsaw and sawed the door down. Problem solved!