McPolack's I hate this tomato sauce tomato sauce

On way home from Vermont stop at barn on side of road and buy from old slow farmer with a ponytail who likes to make penguins out of gourds:

3 big and six small tomatoes
1 good-sized green pepper
1 bright lumpy carrot with dirt on it
1 bulb garlic

Come home and fry six cloves of garlic in oil with 1 large onion plus the carrot and the pepper in the Le Crueset pot you got as part of a set for 15 dollars at a Salvation Army before it was cool to shop at the Salvation Army and you could actually find awesome stuff.

Chop up tomatoes haphazardly and smoosh the seeds out with your fingers. Throw 'em in the pot.

Clean out fridge and discover slightly slimy bunch of basil. Pick out non-slimy pieces, rinse, chop, and add to pot.

Dump in some white wine from the plastic sippy bottle in the fridge.

Add some red pepper and salt.

Let it all cook for a half hour or so. Then get your hand blender and pulverize it all into a thick, good-smelling, goop with flecks of green. Take pride in the fact that you didn't flake out and spray sauce all over the kitchen or burn yourself. Put cover on pot.

Take cover off pot ten minutes later. Sauce is boiling and it bubbles out of pot and sprays walls and a big glop of it burns the piss out of your right ring finger. Rush over to put it under cold water only to discover water is still hot from when you did the dishes. Open freezer and stick burnt finger on a bag of fake chicken pieces while muttering to yourself:

I hate this tomato sauce

Simmer for another 20 minutes or so while holding a plastic bag of ice on your finger and serve with pasta and meat of your choice.

Abbondanza!