Monday, June 15, 2009

What do you get when you take...

1. Overzealous use of bad CGI to simulate destruction of Las Vegas, Houston, Mount Rushmore, the Hoover Dam, a formerly extinct volcano in the Midwest, and a large part of Utah, among others;
2. Kate Hudson's brother, the second-most-recent incarnation of Superman on TV, a bloated Kim Delaney, and the guy who played Nixon in Frost/Nixon;
3. Shades of that bad cruise ship disaster movie from the 70s (?), which was badly redone recently, now yet even more badly redone, only not on a cruise ship but in a sinkholed casino with sand pouring in instead of water; and
4. Beau Bridges crying like a baby on Mary from Little House on the Prairie's shoulder?

Why, 10.5 Apocalypse!

Seriously, it's the worst TV movie I have ever seen. It is a MONSTER. So, so overdone. So unbelievably, horribly bad. Yet not quite bad enough to be kitschy. The premise is Pangaea in reverse, which naturally makes a giant fault line split the entire country in half, wreaking all sorts of havoc, including bad, bad, bad, bad, baaaaaaaaaaaad acting and good actors saddled with lines so atrocious your heart breaks for them, a little.

I watched the whole thing, naturally. I had my fingers crossed that Godzilla would crawl up out of the ground at some point. (Alas, he didn't.) Today I found out OSB, who managed to stay up past 8 for the first time in quite awhile, watched the whole thing, too. Poor woman.

The best part? It was a sequel.


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