Wednesday, December 09, 2009


Made my way over to my friend Lydia's last night to share my pirogi. I'm glad I went. She's a very curious (in a good way) individual and we really click. For all the lack of man in my life, there's more than enough woman to make up for it-by which I mean I have a lot of women friends. I'm really grateful for them.

We talked about ways of looking at the world. Lydia tends to find her life to be satisfying-and her husband told her perhaps this isn't due so much to her creating a positive outcome by way of her positive energy as it was that no matter what the outcome, she was OK with it-more judgment than cause and effect, if you catch my drift.

I felt lighter after talking with her, and better about my situation. Later, I felt like shit again.

A few days ago, I had a bizarre, apocalyptic dream and watched War of the Worlds for the first time the day after; my dream and the movie were similar, though on more of a meta-level.

In the dream the world was obliterated and everyone went underground. I was carrying around a baby and a kitten and was super-worried about them; they ended up dying and I felt relieved. I eventually made my way above ground and encountered a race of baboon-men -- they'd chop the heads off baboons and replace them with human ones, because the bodies of the humans were destroyed. I watched the surgery. WTF, subconscious? I also am developing TMJ. The Paulist Center happens to have a Jungian analyst in residence and I am considering paying him a visit. And I must add that one of the many upsides to years of therapy is the ability to not freak out over things like this and instead look at it as an opportunity for growth. I just need to figure out how to grow.

Anyhoo, I'm working on a story this week; it's due Friday. It's kicking my ass. I've looped back into hyper-perfect mode and I have got to get myself out. So if anyone wants to send me some bust-through-the-block energy, I'll take all you can spare.

In other McPolack news, Beefy Chunks had his balls off and made a new friend.

Talk to youse laters, alligators.


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