Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Beef on the hoof

Another tale from the files of Dr. Moo...

Dr. Moo discovered she was a bad shot this afternoon when it took her three tries to get a tranq dart into a fat angry beef cow that had been on the loose since running away from an auction in April. Apparently the cow, who, much to Dr. Moo's delight, had been named Annie (Dr. Moo's first name is Annie) by the woman who had trapped her in a barn, had been running riot through the streets of Middlebury, "menacing" the locals. A team of local police had been trailing the cow through town, intent on shooting her. They couldn't keep up with her.

The cow was eventually cornered in a barn by an old woman who'd been feeding her. An outfit called Farm Sanctuary stepped in and Dr. Moo was sent to knock the cow out for transport.

The cow was pretty pissed, so Dr. Moo had to take aim at her from far away. Her first shot hit the wall; her second the ceiling. The third dart hit the Rambovine, who was so hopped up that, even though Dr. Moo had put five times the amount of tranq it takes to drop a normal cow in seconds, this cow took a good half an hour to get dopey.

Although many of Dr. Moo's cohorts felt it was a waste not to turn this beef on the hoof into beef on the bun, I for one believe that if you escape the chopping block once, you've earned your freedom.



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