Suck it.

So I'm eating my nice Chinese food with my family and I'm thinking everyone is getting along so well and being so friendly. I spent the day hiking Mount Osceola and then helping my sister shop for a baby gift for a friend. Then I crack open my fortune cookie and it reads "You will have true success in whatever you do." I look at my sister. She is shaking. Shaking with laughter. Then I realize my mother is laughing as well.

They are laughing because I in fact if you look at my job history have been successful at, well, NOTHING.

Which they think makes my fortune v. v. funny.

Well I think they are assholes.

So there.

OK, of course they were kidding, but only sort of. We're all about the black, black humor in my family.