Tacky Sales Pitch No. 2

OK, I can't resist sharing this one. Mr. Diamond Salesman also insists that this pitch works so well that "You'd better be able to follow through on it." He tells the ring-buyer that if he buys this specific branded diamond, he will personally explain to the r-b's beloved just why and in how many ways said ring is fabulous.

Of course Mr. DS also swears that when the couples come back in and he explains the fabulosity of the jewels, that the woman is in AWE, yes, AWE, of what her man has purchased for her. We're talking dumbstruck, mouth-agape wowedness.

Just who are these idiots anyway?

I'll tell you what would put me in awe. Rather than a ring, I'll take a farmhouse on a hundred and fifty acres of land in Center Sandwich, a pair of wiener dogs, a cord of split wood with the promise to split more, a lifetime of oil changes, and the promise to impregnate me a minimum of four times and not leave me when my butt and tatas begin to droop.

That'll wow me.