Desperately Seeking...

I’m your average Carhartt-wearing cow-ass-molesting VT twentysomething. I grew up in the woods of NH and was raised by feral chipmunks. Pluses? I can crack walnuts with my teeth and I can hold a LOT in my mouth!!! Minuses? None that I can think of (well unless if you count that if I lose my keys it might be because I hid them in the crotch of a tree three miles out in the woods and can't remember if it was a birch or a maple, LOL)

I own a wonderful dog who is my absolute best friend. Sometimes I even let her put her tongue in my mouth! And yes, it’s before she cleans her butt with it. It’s not like I was raised by wolves! (it was chipmunks)

But enough about me. What I’m looking for: If you’re into plaid, NASCAR, and garlic-ginger stir fry and ESPECIALLY if you’re a heavy breather or you chew with your mouth open, please, give me a call. I’m the girl for you!


(this personal ad was brought to you by L and McPolack and was fully approved by Dr. Moo)