TV Land

The last two visitors to stay at chateau McPolack, JoyceFrances and Dr. Moo, do not have television. Of course your stay at chateau McPolack includes clean sheets, a wakeup nudge, and a giant TV with working remote control (courtesy, oddly enough, of JoyceFrances, whose husband bought an even bigger TV).

JoyceFrances, who slept here on Wednesday night, particularly enjoyed the infomercials for powdered foundation and the show about morbidly obese people who are getting gastric bypass surgery. She commented that TV is about fat people, selling stuff, and Jesus -- which means she caught Joni and her scary-ass husband on DayStar. She fell asleep watching a show about a tanning salon featuring two bimbettes named Molly and Holly who call themselves the Olly girls.

Meanwhile Moo is a woman after my own heart. On her last visit she was up until three in the morning watching reruns of American Gladiator on ESPN2. Remember that show? With the giant be-spandexed men and women who whacked each other with even gianter q-tips? I was a little afraid my legs were as big as the women on that show but oh my they certainly are not.

I myself went off the sauce for a year back when I lived in Wilton, NH. This was before the age of DVD's, but I did rent a fair amount of movies. Can't say I missed the TV much, but I'll tell you, I think I'd miss it now.