I'm not quite ready for the apocalypse

If parsnips are a requirement to survive in a world without grocery stores, I'm in trouble. This is what grew out of the nine seeds I planted.
However, if it's melons you need...
Here's a shot of the two together, for perspective.
I actually have no idea of my true parsnip or melon growing capabilities as all I did was plant the seeds and then visit them maybe 5 times over the summer, when I weeded and cooed. I almost weeded the parsnip but something in me knew that even though it was tiny I needed to leave it.

There were a couple of beets, too. Or, I should say, four tiny beet greens, two of which were attached to a beet the size and shape of the eraser at the end of a pencil.

The scabby marks on the melon are from a chipmunk, probably the same one that dug a hole in the melon hill TEN MINUTES after I planted the seeds. G-d chipmunk. I couldn't wait to taste the lovely melon myself and of course it wasn't ripe, save for a teaspoon of orange flesh. But it was a tasty one.