I need more grace and flowers

It's a time of changes in the McPolack family. We are in a baby-having arc in the circle of life, the second (well, third, really, if you count when I was born) I've experienced, and I am grateful because in the next cycle my aunts and uncles, and my parents, die. That's how it works.

As I must whine about things to get them out of my system, I would like to call the whambulance because I hate the holidays right now. McMumsy would tell me that I hate the holidays every year and she is right. But this year is worse! Waaaa! I do not have a baby, and neither does my sister, and she lives in Vermont anyway, which means there are no babies nearby for me to get my hands on. And if things go as they have been, there never will be. I wish I had a husband with a lot of siblings who had a lot of kids so that I could recreate the holidays of my youth. But the past is easy to make rosy, especially when you were a kid for most of it. I know for a fact things weren't as wonderful as that jumble of family felt.

I also know that relationships can sour, irrevocably, even much later on in life.

So that sucks.

Really I think what I'm up against is a hill. Life is all about climbing hills. At the top of one hill is another one, of course, but the view gets better.

This weekend I discovered Mumford and Sons and g-d are they amazing. I like this set of lyrics especially...

get over your hill and see what you find there/with grace in your heart and flowers in your hair