Rejection

I'm having kind of a hard day today. First I locked my keys in the car and then I got let go from the freelance project I was working on. Couple that with the fact that large 'n fancy consulting firm will not be hiring me on for their next project, the whole stupid Potential Suitor fiasco, and the fact that the two new boys that contacted me on line have stopped writing and well, I am not feeling so hot about myself right now, like at all. I really don't get it. I seem to be the test case for how much rejection one person can take before crawling under a rock and dying.

The latest sayonara came from an educational company that was redesigning their web site and what happened was what I had worried would happen -- that the text I had written wasn't different enough. It was, according to the CEO, "lackluster," and they are going to take the writing in-house. The thing is, I was working with the CEO, trying to do what he wanted. In hindsight, what I should have done was -- oh, fuck, I don't know what I should have done. I just know that I feel really, really, really bad right now. Just sad and miserable. The one bright spot was Contagious, who was so nice on the phone when I called her at work, blubbering. I just.

I just don't know. This is, honest to God, the fourth see you later sister I've had in the past four years. I'm afraid that I'm lazy and not focused or ADD or, well, I just don't fucking know.