Sweet, sweet TMI

Sometimes when I am having a bad time of it (and I am having a shitty f-ing day today; I just feel miserable) a strange sense of humor kicks in from somewhere deep inside of me and elicits from me, at the most unlikely moment, a giggle.

Just now, rather than curl up in a ball on my futon and deal with my depression by sleeping, I instead decided I'd do a little cleaning. I started with the bathroom (nothing like a dirty toilet to cheer a person up!) and then moved on to the kitchen, where I tackled the many half-to-more-than-half-empty cereal boxes that litter the top of my fridge.

The oat and soy crisp was clearly no longer crisp as the cereal pieces were clumped together in a prickly, sticky ball at the bottom of the bag. Into the trash it went! I then consolidated two different kinds of hot cereal -- an oat bran and a similar-in-texture-and-shape apple cinnamon. Next came Barbara's Shredded Oats. It's hard to tell whether these are fresh by look or feel so I popped one in my mouth.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand it was definitely past its prime. Since no one was looking I spit the chewed-up dry-saltine textured Shredded Oat back into the bag with its spoilt brethren. I made a sort of "thblpptblearggggggh" sound with my tongue. Then I made another special sort of sound with my bum. And then I laughed and laughed.

And thought to myself that even though the cereal failed the freshness test this was far superior to when my underpants fail the "are they clean or dirty?" sniff test.