Mouth-to-snout

Dr. Moo did a bit of rescue breathing for a newborn calf this weekend. If you ever happen to be around a newborn calf in need of rescue breathing (and aren't we all, at one time or another?), here is what you should do:

Step one - Hold hands over mouth of calf to keep it closed.
Step two - Be sure one of the nostrils is plugged as well.
Step three - Insert lips into open nostril (yes, put them inside the nostril) and blow.
Step four - Repeat step three until satisfactory results are achieved.
Step five - Ask nearby farmer for a tissue to wipe slimy amniotic fluid off lips.
(That's off of your lips, not the calf's)