oink

Dr. Moo has been full of tales of the non-bovine ilk lately. This weekend in the cousin-and-auntie-filled bedroom of a haunted northern inn she told the sad tale of Oink. Oink was a five-year-old 250lb pot-bellied pig who was purchased from a trailer park. He had separation anxiety and would tear things up if left alone too long. He was a pretty, pretty princess when it came to getting shots. Like all piggies, he had frequent, fragrant gas.

Oink really liked to hang out on the sofa. It was a good life. But then one day he became morbidly constipated and Moo was called at midnight to send him waddling across the Rainbow Bridge. Dispatching Oink wasn't the problem. Moving him off the sofa post-dispatch was. After some amount of discussion, a sled of sorts was built (I believe a rug was involved) and Oink's body was dragged across the floor, out the door, and onto the lawn. They were originally going to try to drag him into the shed but in the end (and after consulting with Dr. Moo as to whether "anything would eat him" if they did so) they turned a wheelbarrow over on him and buried him the next day.