Period Monster

Dr. Moo and I at some point after the onset of menstruation came up with a term to describe the various and sundry beasties associated with that beloved monthly visitor, Aunt Flo. The term is Period Monster. And this is what I have been for the better part of three days now.

The Monster started on Saturday afternoon. I was enjoying a day by the sea with good friends, one of whom told me "I'm in love." Then she started text messaging her beau. Period Monster grumbled why don't I have a boyfriend? Friend with beau tried to reassure me but P.M. was having none of it. "There must be something the matter with me!" raged P.M. "I now know NOBODY who is single."

"I am single," announced friend at beach No. 2.

"Rahhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrr! You are having sex currently with not one but two men! You are not single! Only I am single! I am the only single woman left on the face of the planet. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME!"

At this point Period Monster compels me to eat several chocolate mint cookies in succession. Then I announced that I had to go back to Boston, because I was in a foul mood. "You have to at least stay for dinner," one friend replied. To which P.M. said quietly "Why are you not begging me to stay?"

I was able to quash the P.M. for most of the rest of the night, though it did prevent me from attending a friend's going away party ("RAHHHHHHR! You will know noone there and will be miserable!" shouted P.M. "Also you are fat!") The next day wasn't so good and then today I was snippy yet again.
I must think of a way to calm the Beast.