Thanks again, Mumsy

In the last couple of months my mother has suggested that I date:

1)VB (virgin boy) from the Howie Carr show. He's now a reporter on the local Fox affiliate. I don't think I can convey how unsuited VB is for me in words, so you'll just have to trust me.

2) a novitiate (I think this is the term) priest who was visiting her parish. Every weekend I went home this summer she'd try to get me to go to church. "He's kinda cute! And he's not 100 percent priest yet! You could change his mind!"

Jaysus.