I Heart New York

I really do. It's better than Boston. Well, I couldn't afford to live there and I don't know that I could handle all that stimulation but when it comes to things to see, do, and eat -- and the city's overall friendliness -- New York just wins out. I continue to be surprised by this because I fear the city more than a little bit. My image of it is as big and cold and mean and the only thing it is of those three is big. I just love the energy there, the people, the activity, the fact that so much happens there, all the time.

So. My New Year's in the Big Apple was quite swell. Though to tell the truth I was pretty blue for most of it, and at the GB show I stood by myself waiting for the band to start for nearly two hours. I wanted to be closer to the stage but couldn't do the mosh pit and I'd had it with doing what other people wanted. I've had a real bee in my bonnet lately about selfish people and this has been working itself out through me realizing that on some level it's that people are taking care of their needs, and I think, F them, I'm taking care of mine, and on another level it is of course about me not liking the selfishness I see in myself. I want to be a giving person but being a giving person doesn't mean the world is going to give you anything back; expecting that is folly. I want to stop being so disappointed in other people.

Anyhoo there were, as per usual, lots of interesting folks in the big city, from the chain smoking Brothers McMullen types behind us in line for the show to the guy on the train on the ride home who was taking care of his passed out hunchbacked friend Neil and calling his friends every five minutes and loudly proclaiming "I had the WORST FUCKING NIGHT OF MY LIFE!" or "Neil got us KICKED OFF THE FUCKING TRAIN!" or "I need some PUSSY." or my personal favorite, "I'M GOING TO GO FUCK SHEILA." He was even singing at one point. But the greatest moment happened at the end of the ride when, as he was exiting the train, having spent the last two hours preventing me from any kind of real sleep with his loudly professed tales of woe, he turned to an old lady seated near the door and said, very politely, "Ma'am, would you like any help getting off the train?"