It went over really well!

...although I was nervous for a while it wouldn't.

When I arrived at the McPolack homestead, my mother said "I'm nervous about this weird present Dr. Moo is bringing." I said, "How do you know about the present? Did you read my blog?" (She has stopped reading my blog because she says it depresses her.) No, she hadn't read my blog; Dr. Moo had called. "Is it alive?" she said, sounding a little cross.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that," I replied.

"McPolack!" she yelled. "You have to tell me what it is! Did she get him a goat?"

(huh?)

"What? No!"

"A pig? Is it a pig? Oh my God."

"No, McMumsy, it's not a pig. Listen, I can't tell you what it is; all I can tell you is not to worry about, OK? Don't worry about it. Dr. Moo has it all under control."

Then I left to meet a dear friend and spiritual advisor for coffee, stopped to buy a present for OSB, who is coming with Ella (and Lucy, due to be born this spring!) for pancakes and eggs and to meet the new member of our family.

When I got back from my trip, Pp was super cranky. He was grumbling that the rain we're due to get today was going to make the roof fall in. I get these moods, too, and there's nothing to be done but wait them out. Or, as I did, say "Don't worry about the roof, PolackPappy, you can climb up there with the help of your gift! Which is a pony! Haven't you always wanted a pony?"

Pp ignored me. McMumsy said "Oh, come on, let's go in the back room. I need to talk to you about what to make for Christmas." I followed her. She grabbed some cooking magazines but as soon as she sat down she said "Oh for God's sake, did you get your father a miniature horse?"

"No!" I said. And then I told her...we got PP a...



CHINCHILLA!!!

And I am not overselling it all when I tell you that he loved that little guy pretty much immediately. He sat with the chin on his chest for a good 45 minutes while my sister set up his cage, petting him and talking to him -- and telling us about a cousin to the chin, twice his size, that he'd seen scurrying about in the Andes in Peru, when he was in the Peace Corps. (Dr. Moo got the chin because it's from South America; Pp was one of the first waves of Peace Corps volunteers and hasn't loved a president like he loved JFK. Growing up, my sister had a long-haired guinea pig which was really my father's pet; he used to eat them in Peru and he loved that piggie.) He'd actually guessed that Moo got him another guinea pig -- either that or a cane made out of a bull penis.

Anyhoo, he read through the book on chinchilla care that Moo had gotten him and as we were leaving for dinner he told us to go buy him an exercise wheel and a hidey-hole. I purchased the wheel as Moo had already spent nearly $200 on all the other items, including the chinchilla, and by the time we got home my parents were in bed but Pp had already built the chinchilla a makeshift hidey-hole out of cardboard.

Now he needs to come up with a name for him. Oh, and teach him to dance because yes, you can train chinchillas to dance. They also take baths in dust. But PolackPappy with a dance-on-command chinchilla -- that, people, is comedy gold.