Oh, New Hampshire...

This depresses me. Partly because I'm still holding onto the hope that I'll move back to NH, north, live in a wee house with a lot of land, and be able to support myself. And partly because I spent so much time unemployed, listened to so much advice, went to so many job fairs.

OK I went to one job fair. It was at Fenway. It wasn't a complete waste of time because I'd never been to Fenway before and I got to check out the Green Monster. But it's just so depressing to wait on line with tons of hopeful folks who've read or haven't read What Color is Your Parachute? and are just so--unemployable. That's the first word that comes to mind. Because that's how I felt about myself, that I was this great unemployable lump.

I don't feel that way anymore, not really. I do think I'm a bit un-American in that I don't have this wicked drive to succeed and amass a bunch of crap. I wish it was worth peoples' while for me to write the sort of stuff and I do here, and be helpful and kind, that it paid enough to live comfortably to have that be my job.

The more positive tack for what happened at that job fair today is that maybe some folks got networking done while waiting in line, and commiserated a little, and didn't sit home all day in a funk. I'm thinking of them all surrounded by positive energy and love right now. Corny, yes, but it's free to do and I think it helps.