Belly

Spent much of Saturday with the quite-pregnant friend-formerly-known-as-H-bomb. Formerly-known-as because I've decided not to associate her with a big bad evil weapon. I wish I could refer to her as Pregnantasaurus Rex but that's not too nice either so I'll just call her OSB, for Owner of StinkyButt (her kitty with a smelly bumbalum).

So OSB and I went a-shoppin on Newbury Street. I was especially excited for this shopping trip because I have been waiting for MONTHS to try on the fake pregnant belly they provide for you at maternity stores so you can see how the clothes will fit you when you are further along. Of course, I am not very far along myself, seeing as how I am not pregnant and have not had sex in more than a year.

Buuuuuuuuut, I got really obsessed with this fake belly thing. I built it up in my head as being this nude-colored hefty thing complete with bigger breasts that fit over your shoulders and tied in the back. And OSB made me wait until she was pretty far along before I got to accompany her to the maternity store, so my ideal only grew.

And then deflated instantly when we got to the store. We were in A Pea in the Pod, a very tony maternity shop in a very tony area of the city and there was no nude colored tummy. There was a dirty roundish lumpy pillow that velcroed around your waist. I was quite disappointed.

But, at OSB's urging, I did try the belly on, and put on a nice hoodie pregnant lady sweater over it. And while it did not give me much of an idea of what I will look like pregnant (save for that the lump in front balances out my big Polish ass quite nicely) it DID give me an idea of what I will look like should I ever get a tumor.