Reading Between the Lines
So I was at a shower this weekend for my brother's fiancee and after the shower when we were back at the (unbelievably gorgeous set up on a hill with a breathtaking view of the Atlantic, which is right across the street) home where she grew up and she said: "Bridesmaid Y wanted to know if you were going to be wearing your glasses at the wedding."
So I asked the fiancee if she wanted me to not wear my glasses at the wedding. She said "Oh, no, no, no. I like your glasses."
Hmmmmm...
So the next day I am at book club and I ask a fellow book club attendee, H, who is similar to the fiancee of the brother in that she takes no shit from anyone, if what the fiancee meant when she said "Bridesmaid Y wanted to know if you were going to be wearing your glasses at the wedding." was "Don't wear your glasses at the wedding."
H immediately said "Yes."
So it looks like I shall not be wearing my glasses at the wedding. I should note that I am in the wedding and also that whenever I see a bride wearing her glasses in her wedding picture, I think, oh, lordy, she looks dumb.
posted by McPolack at 6:54 PM
11 Comments:
i disagree.
glasses can be sexy.
7:43 PM, July 31, 2006
I agree that brides look a bit weird in glasses but anyone else can look darned cool in them. Give her the choice - you either wear them much to her apparent disdain or don't wear them and she risks red wine down her pretty dress because you didn't see her.
4:47 AM, August 01, 2006
I disagree - when people are used to seeing you in glasses, they will think you look weird without them - wedding or no wedding. I was at a wedding last year and a normally bespectacled bride chose not to wear glasses and everyone just said she looked strange (not better!) without them. If I were you, I'd wear them, but get a brand new pair just for the day - treat them like jewellery for the face!
5:15 AM, August 01, 2006
Who knew this was such a hot topic? I am, honestly, torn. I feel like I will look a little weird in my glasses (although I wear them all the time) but at the same time, I want to be able to see what is going on during the wedding. I don't know. I'm curious to hear more opinions! And I do need to defend the bride and say that she has been a very un-bridezilla like bride and hasn't really made any irritating requests or chosen a vomitous dress, shoe, or flower bouquet.
Also both she and her mom may or may not read this blog!
7:16 AM, August 01, 2006
This is a really loaded topic! I keep editing my response.
On one hand: I bristle at the superficiality of a person who, of all the things to think about in the advent of his/her marriage, is concerned about how YOU will look.
On the other hand: I would do anything for a bride-friend, in order not to have her stress out pre-wedding.
On another hand: What if someone said "You're gonna lose 10 lbs before the wedding right?" (Same underlying principle, right? Sure it's different, and we all wish it was as easy to lose 10 lbs as it is to get new glasses... but the message is The way you look even at your daily best is not appropriate for my wedding day.
On yet another hand: It could be fun (albeit expensive, probably) to get a really lovely pair of glasses for the occasion.
Would you wear contacts? Or just have impaired vision? The latter is unacceptable. ("Grandpa, would you mind not using your cane at the wedding?") Good point above about looking strange without your glasses, if that's how people are used to seeing you. (Not that you do, necessarily, but you know, what if.)
My bottom line: I would do what my friend wanted, but I'd have to try not to scowl in all the pictures.
8:03 AM, August 01, 2006
what if you wear them but take them off for the pictures?
9:52 AM, August 01, 2006
Glasses are the most time-sensitive accessory inb a picture. Look at any vintage photo, and thre glasses are always ridiculous. Wear your glasses for this wedding, and regret it in a decade or less. That's why I always take them off in photos.
1:32 PM, August 01, 2006
Thanks for all the comments! (And there you are, c!) Anonymous, I thought about maybe just taking them off for pics. teri, I am conflicted as you are. I do have impaired vision, like 20/200, but it's not so bad that I am legally blind and I don't have contacts and don't want them. They're just too much work. Unfortunately, I don't have money for new glasses. I have been wearing the same pair I bought for 50 bucks at Wal-Mart three years ago. c, I can always count on you for the unvarnished fashionista truth. BTW, how is Mexico? Send me an email!
6:32 PM, August 01, 2006
Eh, I don't appreciate people who double-speak and don't have the cajones to tell me something to my face... I'd have worn coke-bottle costume glasses or huge horn-rims just to be spiteful *evil laugh*.
10:30 PM, August 01, 2006
I think the bride needs to learn about direct communication. What do you think would happen if you emailed her and said, "Hey, I'm totally happy to go without my glasses for the wedding. I was thinking that they don't really go with the dress anyway. But it makes it easier for me if you can just ask me what you'd like upfront, so that I don't have to worry that I'm doing something that upsets you without knowing it, ok? I can handle directness, and I want to make sure that you're happy on your wedding day." Something like that.
8:16 PM, August 03, 2006
I'm late joining this debate (of sorts)...but I'm going to have to go with "wear your glasses but take them off in the pictures" I think it's the perfect compromise since the bride will be using her pictures to remember her special day and can view you in them any time she wants sans glasses, but you, my dear friend, will be able to see the actual wedding if you do wear them! It's a fair trade I think - wear the glasses so you can see the wedding is a plus for you - not wearing the glasses in the picture is a plus for her!
9:55 PM, August 05, 2006
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