Thoughts on Marriage

So I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately, and moral compasses, and what I see as a general lack of them in a lot of men, and the role of religion. While reading this book, about cadets at West Point, I was struck by how much it made me think I wanted to marry someone who went there – they’re really taught about honor, sacrifice, and commitment, three things I think you need in a marriage, and three things I’ve seen a lot of men completely ignore.

I see both Catholicism and Judaism honoring the sanctity of marriage in ways I admire and I think Catholics and Jewish folks tend to find common ground because the religions to me are similar in a lot of ways – heavy on the ritual and the commitment to family, and, when they’re doing it right, both religions foster a strong and positive sense of community.

I don’t think I could ever convert to Judaism, although I know (and fully support) someone who has. But the longer I am alone, the more this idea of what a good marriage is builds up in my mind, and for me it’s one that happens in the Catholic church. I just think they make you ask the right questions before you get started, for one thing. And I fully do believe in the idea of marriage as a sacrament and a spiritual union.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this – other than making McMumsy very happy at my thoughts – she picked up this mildly wacky but also in some ways interesting magazine on natural family planning (it was their wedding issue) which has prompted my thinking.

But how do you ever get from point A – single woman who wants a husband and family and wants to be the primary caregiver of the kids (but doesn’t want that to mean she stops working forever if at all) and wants that family to go to church, a church she doesn’t necessarily believe in? – to point B, actually being in that situation? How the hell do you ever even bring that up? I tell you, 33 makes dating very very serious. And the more work I do on myself spiritually, the more it ups the ante for anyone getting anywhere near my pants.

Geez.