Bring back the bush!

My friend bitterjoe sent me a delightful post about a woman's woes with her pubic hair and I just had to tell a tale of my own.

They say that blondes are the hairiest of them all and I am hear to tell you that they are right. I refer to the hair that has been creeping down the insides of my thighs as the Amazonian rainforest and to my attempts at removing it deforestation.

Deforestation is a painful process and has adverse effects on the Amazon. But more on that later.

I do not know at what point I began to have So Much Hair; it was more how one might discover one has a drinking problem: one day, there is just an excess, and it's not good. I swear that my follicles send out scout hairs to search for new territory further down the insides of my thighs because every so often I'll see a lone one, two or three inches from the rest. I always yank it out immediately and let it be a lesson to the other hairs.

I have tried Nair to remove the hair and gotten a painful rash. I waxed my inner thighs myself at home for quite some time, but it was so painful I had to put a towel in my mouth to bite down on and it left my inner thighs bruised and bleeding. Shaving always results in an itchy rash (though I haven't tried the rubbing alcohol Contagious mentioned, I did try calendula lotion which did nothing). I don't have the money for laser removal and if I get cancer all my hair falls out plus I might die so I'm really at the end of my rope here.

I did recently start shaving it again as there is both Potential Suitor (who when I mentioned my hair woes today said he was cool with unshaven inner thighs, yay!) and Another Guy, someone Contagious wants to set me up with, and I thought it was time to, well, clear out the underbrush from my lady bits in preparation for a potential visitor from the outside. And I got that icky rash again.

Soooooooooo. I send out my call to the universe to bring back the bush! No, not George Bush. Just the full-on seventies porn bush. Because my inner thighs can't take much more abuse.