Thursday, May 28, 2009

Can you please use the word in a sentence?

I know I said I'd tell Part II of my confession story today but things got busy and now the national spelling bee is on and it is FANTASTIC. That's f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c. Nerd parents. And their nerd spawn. With nerd judges! And a nerd pronouncer! And Joe Biden's wife!

I hope you all got a chance to watch.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

It has been five days since my last confession...

One of the things I did at the retreat was celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation. You had your choice of four priests; mine was in one of the formerly seedy motel rooms.

He was also reaaaaaallllllllllly young-looking. Younger than me. I have never seen a priest younger than me before. Also? He was hot. So instead of an older white-haired gentleman in a mahogany-paneled confession booth I got to pour out nearly 20 years worth of sins and worries to a gorgeous 25-year-old while seated across from him and next to a bed.

But I didn't let that stop me. They gave us all a tri-fold brochure of categorized sins you could go through in case you couldn't think of what to say. I already had plenty of stuff I wanted to address but I'm good about getting the best use out of any given resource so I went through the list and answered yes/no/meh? to everything in there. Because I wanted to walk out of that motel room clean.

More tomorrow...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

de Colores

McMumsy asked me near the end of the retreat "How are you going to write about this on your blog?" My first response to her was that I didn't think I wanted to write anything at all. But as soon as I got home I called someone, and the day after I called someone, and then spent the entire afternoon walking and talking and snacking with two other friends and that's when I realized in some ways all I want to DO is talk about it.

But I think it's better if I do it in chunks.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I found a kitty sitter!

Well, a kitty visitor. Or visitors, really. And thank goodness.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Kitty traveling

I agreed to go on a wacky Catholic retreat this weekend. Actually, it's Thursday through Sunday. In a former no-tel motel. With McMumsy. Sleeping on a cot.

The only real bad part to this is I have to drive past where the retreat is, up to the McPolack homestead, so PolackPappy can kitty-sit Daphne Moon. She HATES riding in the car and it's going to be wicked hot tomorrow. This is stressing me out.

Oh, and there have now been two fires and one murder on or near my running route.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

RIP yogi

The fellow responsible for bringing the kind of yoga I practice to the States died yesterday. I've had a wicked urge to do yoga all day today, but I think that's more because it's my usual yoga day and I had to skip class due to work. Or maybe I'm being haunted.

OK, I'm pretty sure I'm not being haunted.

Monday, May 18, 2009


I WAY overbooked myself work-wise and one of the companies I've been working for for awhile naturally has some yin with its yang -- the work is relatively steady but there are some serious issues with it.

So then. I present to you a couple of photos from this weekend, when I visited the newish seal tank outside the NE Aquarium. If you are ever feeling blue this will cheer you right up. The fat, whiskered, goony-eyed, unbelievably adorable seals go sailing by you on their backs, or spin around, or float with their snouts thisclose to yours, separated only by glass. I could have stayed there all day. I'm sure I made a lot of embarrassing exclamations on Saturday but I was so drunk on cuteness I can't remember a thing.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The r key on my computer is stuck

I am hoping it will soon become unstuck.

In the interim I am cutting and pasting.

Going to go watch myself some sailboatin' this weekend.

This not having the r key thing is really harshing my writing mellow. It's messing with my flow. I'm off to eat cookies and scratch my kitty's belly.

Peace out.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Fightin' Round the World

Well I went out after the second round in the spelling bee last night, which alternated words that were relatively easy to spell with words I have never ever heard of. And I have heard of a lot of words.

Then I came home and caught the last 20 minutes of the Real Housewives of New York reunion special. It was only Part One! They had to make a Part Two! Due to all the fightin'! God it was good.

Earlier I'd watched an episode of South Park in which the kids were watching a TV show called "Russell Crowe: Fightin' Round the World." I don't know what it was about "Russell Crowe: Fightin' Round the World" -- his pal Tuggy the Tugboat, the way he spun his fists and legs and danced around and punched people, the fact that he called those people "scrotum" or "vagina" before he punched them, or his silly accent, but I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I kin spel reel gud.

There's a spelling bee every Tuesday night at a hipster restaurant near where I live. And tonight, I am going to compete.

I used to do pretty well in the bees at my elementary school. I'm hoping that talent, plus the fact that I don't drink, so maybe my competition will be dulled by liquor, will work in my favor.

I've got yoga before that and a lot of work, so it's busy bee along with spelling bee for me.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Big Gay Al's Big Gay Flower Shop

I sent McMumsy a Barack Obama dress-up magnet set for McMother's Day. Dr. Moo actually sent flowers, which is impressive. Methinks Dr. Moo is growing up.

She ordered them from a local place whose name I shall not mention but whose aesthetic I most definitely shall. And I shall call it Queer-a-rific. This is the same shop that, 'round Christmastime, glues glittered feathers to ornaments and calls it sculpture. And McMumsy, and other ladies of her ilk, buy those sculptures.

Dr. Moo, McMumsy and I visited the shop the day after Christmas. I keep rewriting this post trying to describe what it was like, and the best I can come up with is, imagine Talbots, but Divine works there, and there are Talbots clothes and there are Divine clothes, and the ladies that normally shop at Talbots let Divine put outfits together for them.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyhoo. Moo was worried a glittery feather or two might have made its way into the bouquet and she wanted McMumsy to take a picture of it so she could see what the flower shop had wrought. Turns out while the arrangement was asymmetrical, there was nary a speck of glitter to be seen.

There were lilacs, which impressed us all.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Doing my bit for the nerds

Tomorrow I am babysitting wee Daisy, so her dad, accompanied by a large pod of fellow nerds, can drag her mom to see Star Trek on its opening night.

Today I worked a lot and also cleaned. And now, in case you couldn't tell, I am tired.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Camel Toe(nails)

So yesterday Dr. Moo had to euthanize both a newborn alpaca (it's a camelid, which means it breathes through its nose, only its nose wasn't working, which meant it had to breathe through its mouth, so it couldn't breathe while eating and would have suffered a slow death from lung issues) and a sheep that hadn't stood up in five days.

Dr. Moo offered the sheep a final carrot because he looked up at her when she came in and was all, "say, what'd you bring me?" and what was she going to say, really -- "I brought you death"? She also yelled (a little) at the husband of the alpaca-owning married couple, for making fun of his wife for crying over the alpaca.

I told Moo again that I could never be a vet because I am way too emotional. Last night the elderly lady downstairs was taken away in an ambulance and I cried a little about that, though I later realized I was crying for Babcia. Dr. Moo says she does cry sometimes when she's euthanizing an animal, especially when the owners are crying. But it's always the best decision for the animal in the end.

Anyhoo, on to the less depressing bit: At the sheep farm there is also a camel named Oliver. He's a two-humper, and his owners use his fur as part of their wool production process. (It doesn't hurt him to get it; you just pluck it out while he's standing there.)

Oliver came running over when my sister showed up, looking for a treat. She gave him a carrot from her lunch. His owner wanted Dr. Moo to take a look at his toenails, which she thought were getting a little long. Moo agreed that they were, but the toenail trimming will take place at a later date.

Oliver also chose yesterday as his annual day to test the electric fence, with his schnoz. He bent down and touched it and got zapped and then ran, as fast as his long and spindly camel legs could carry him, across the field and into the barn. Camels are tall and can step over many fences. Oliver in particular can open latches. So it's good he gets a beak buzz every year, otherwise Moo would be out shooting runaway camels with a tranq gun in the middle of the night.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

England's gifts

In true Polack form, PolackPappy gave me a tiny wheel of cheese from his breakfast, some hotel bath products, and the plastic-wrapped spoon/napkin combo from the plane. He presented them to me one at time, and was delighted to do so.

In true McMumsy form, she brought me a magazine featuring the Obamas' visit to the Queen, and a pair of earrings made from wood that South African women use to attract men. I will let you know if any South Africans end up dangling from the sides of my head.

Hope springs eternal.

Monday, May 04, 2009


The Dub-Dub rummage was, as always, a success. Though I did not find the multiple aprons and vintage kitchen tools I was hoping for, I did get:

1 green cotton sleeveless shirt
1 black-and-white flower-printed linen skirt
1 pink-black-and-white leaf-printed skirt (from Anthropologie!)
1 pair ankle-length light blue pants (from Banana Republic!)
1 cap-sleeved belted fitted black blazer
1 orange cotton cardigan
1 pair brown Isotoner gloves

For six dollars.

I also got, for OSB's daughter, two paperback books, one second-edition copy of Five Little Peppers and How They Grew and a really nifty hand-sewn black velvet Dracula cape. All for $3.

I heart the Dub-Dub rummage.